Some nights, I cry because I miss you. I close my eyes and struggle to breathe. How can I inhale without wanting to take you in? Other nights, it isn't as hard as this. I think of you and distract myself then I move on. I read our past conversations, laugh at how good we were then sleep. But nights, like this is hard to ignore. Everything inside me is yearning for something that I will never have. How can you satiate this kind of longing?
All I can think about right now is that I want you I want to straighten your collars to make sure you're good for the day and kiss you on your cheeks to make the other girls jealous. I want to hold your hand just to assure you that you are not as empty as you seem and I am not as hollow as I assume to be. I want to touch you and show you the world is not as lonely and prove to you that you belong somewhere. That you belong to me. I want you to know that even if it doesn't eventually get better, I will not go away. That even if you're surrounded with everything temporary, I will remain constant. I want to love you in a way that you deserve to experience it. Just pure kind of love that isn't contaminated with doubt and guilt and pain. I want to unwrite your scars and undo your misery.
And now I keep on thinking about how cruel the world can be. How can you lve someone with the greatest intensity and you can not have the chance to show it, to express it for real. How can you meet the one then realizing that they can not be with you. How you can cry at night because you miss someone and how it is all that you can do about it. There is something permanent the way I love you. So maybe I will miss you forever. Spend all these kind of nights crying forever. I believe that my heart might always belong to you even if we might never meet at all.
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