Why on earth, I'm still NBSB!!!

All of a sudden two decades have passed and I must admit that I am still NBSB(no boyfriend since birth) . Still have not kissed anyone, or had 3am converstion with someone who would rather look into my eyes for 10 minutes than talk. Have never worn lover's sweater and "forgotten" it in my bedroom just so I have an excuse to see them again.

4 years of high school and never had a boyfriend...but few crushes and 1 mutual understanding.

I took up the course that majority of the students are female.Even in my block,there were only like 10 males or so, and our class was composed of 40+ students.It's the same with other sections.

This causes me overwhelming curiosity.Am I really that ugly,that uninteresting,that unwanted,that no one has ever looked at me like the only thing on earth..Is there something wrong with me???!

Seriously it's okay with me having no boyfriend at all.

But somehow it bothers me because my relatives put intense pressure on me when we're having convos..: "So why are you still single?" "Maganda ka naman." "Mag ayos ka naman,para mapansin at maligawan ka na."

So here it is,people ask me why,as in all the time.So I guess the entire cyber world should hear what I wanna say here.

Reasons why I "still" stay single:

1. Chaka - I'm not pretty and I'm too plain.I'm short and I'm not attractive to boys to fall head over heels for me.
2. Intimidating - If I like a guy my defense mechanism is to be harsh and avoid him.And also I'm quite dominating as a woman.
3. I never go out as much as others do - I am an introvert in full extent. Never been into a bar, don't go to party, would rather stay home, read book, drink coffee, blog than go out.
4. Im bad with small talks - Even worse in compliments. I kinda freak out when strangers ask me like time, directions. Or maybe I built a wall around myself to let no other people come in unless they have a key. I'm going poet here.
5. I have childish habits - Which I think I would never grow old with.I enjoy little moments.I treasure things normally people of my age wouldn't mind.Like collecting post cards and snow globes. I tend to name intimate things. I'd rather play with my dog than listen to those judgemental little pricks.
6. I'm straight to the point - when I don't like a guy. I instantly tell him, of course not in a rude way.Sabihin mo na kaysa umasa pa.
7. Sometimes I don't actually care how I look - well my hair won't cooperate with me and I suck at doing my own make up.
8. I have fictional standard for My Mr. RIGHT (think of Edward Cullen, Noah Calhoun, Peter Kavinsky, Jack Dawson, and the list goes on...) - okay sorry but this is a way true for me. I'm a huge fan of Nicholas Sparks and self proclaimed hopeless romantic. I read books who can blame me! Author sets very unhumanistic high standards and I kinda bring it in the real world.
9. Time - I'm always willing to wait. Hindi ako choosy, okay? It's just I want our relationship to grow from friends and not forcing it to be romantic spontaneity.And someday I want to introduce my boyfriend by saying "Yes, he was worth the wait."

And yes, I've read enough books,watched enough TV shows and movies and listened to enough silly love songs for me to become hopeless romantic.
I'm just like any other girl who wants Dao Ming Si who will give you chase wherever you go even if it's hell or furthest corner of the earth, just to catch up with you, or Troy Bolton who will serenade you until dawn, or  Landon Carter that will take you in two places at one time, or Judd Nelson who raise his fist because he felt victorious when the hard-to-get girl finally fell in love with him.

And yes I have wished for the Augustus Waters to my Hazel Lancaster, the Price Maxon Schreave to my America Singer, the Jack Dawson to my Rose DeWitt Bukater or the Crisostomo Ibarra to my Maria Clara to walk into my life.

Because I am not like the other girls

All my life I have lived with the fact that I can never be the pretty girl.I am not drop dead gorgeous and completely not a head turner.My hair doesn't stay in place and it is tangled most of the time.I can't start a day without wearing my glasses and used to have braces for 7 years af.I don't always wear make up but when I do, I see a different girl staring back at me in the mirror.I just don't think I am attractive at all.Being pretty is indeed a bonus given to the winner of gentic lottery.

There are days that I am haunted by my own flaws, like catching myself googling solutions to prevent pimples.Because there are girls with perfeclty smooth skin and bodies to die for.Those girls whose selfies may look perfect for magazine cover and theres me looking dork.It sucks, really.

Ever since in high school I used to be the invisible girl,someone you wil not bother to talk to.I am not the type of girl who allures everyone I've met and I dont get other people notice me.

Atleast, because of this,I can appreciate more those people who took extra steps just to get close with me and to see whatever beauty it is that is hide inside me.