The people who tell me that I'm such a good person don't really know me.

I hate going to school because it feels jungle out there.I'm so lazy and I don't do anything about it.I expect my grades to be high and yet again,I don't do anyhthing about it.I wanted to be a good friend but I'm good at ignoring them until they ask me for my help.I'm such a burden for my parents because I can't do anything that will make them proud.I like kids most of the time,but they annoy me.I'd rather be alone most of the time than listening to other people's opinion to someone they don't even know(well most of the people I know are like that;judgemental little pricks) .I hate when someone keeps on pretending to be Mr/Ms know-it-all.I cuss inside my head but you will never hear me cuss out loud.I hate myself and think I don't matter but at the same time I love myself too much that I could marry myself.I don't understand half of the things I am saying and I am sarcastic.Seriously when people praise,it's really hard for me to say "thanks" and just accept the compliment because I look at myself and ask "why would you appreciate someone like me?".

But then I found myself trying to evaluate my opinion about me.I'm not that bad,I'm just lonely and haven't found the right person yet who will understang me.

2014

Wow,it's New Year again.Sobrang bilis talaga ng panahon.And it's been a year since the last time I posted something here....2014 is now over

Random rants for 2014

1.Family

2014 was not a perfect year for my family,before the year ends umalis si Ate papunta ng US.I know na kahit aso't pusa 

kami,it's just so weird that I feel so empty.Siguro nasanay lang talaga ako na nandyan sya lagi.As the days passed,we have our ups and downs.At honestly naging mahirap yun para sakin dahil wala rin dito si ate.There were some fights,misunderstandings,hard feeling,but eventually it all worked out.And I'm sad because never ko na-imagine na mangyayari yun in the first place.Im still kind of hoping that I'm just having a bad dream.But during those times na I feel so shattered,I found out who the best people were.I never felt so loved and supported in my entire life.I'm so thankful for those people who made things bearable when they weren't bearable.And of course kay Lord na di ako pinabayaan despite sa mga pagkukulang ko.

2.Dark times

There are times when I burst out crying in my room,and suddenly I realized no one truly knows how unhappy I am.Like I just want to spill my heart out and say how I feel.2014 was an emotional year for me.It left me baffled and bruised,but I have come out stronger because of it.I am ready for 2015 for better appreciation to the things and the people I know I can loose.

3.School

Well there's nothing really interesting about it.Hindi pa rin ako nagiging scholar and I think I still need to work hard for it this semester.Gusto ko maging scholar because I want to make my parents proud.I want to repay them for everything they did for me.And I want prove them na kaya ko maging scholar.And this 2014 I hope I can do that.

4.Body Image/Confidence

I've always had this issue since then.I've always had insecurities about my body and my face.How I feel so dumb and ugly with others.Like there's nothing really special or interesting about me.I'm always afraid moving out of my comfort zone,I don't know maybe because I'm terrified to make mistake and be a laughing stock just like before.Honestly I've always preach of loving yourself and to not listen to society telling what is beautiful or not.And believe that were all beautiful no matter what they say.But I always had this issue and how I wish this year I will  learn to accept my imperfections and be more confident about myself.

5.Book
Whenever things are getting rough,I found myself wanting to escape.To somewhere far away.The easiest thing to do that is to read a book.Eventhough I have a high grade of glasses at mas masakit sa mata ko ang magbasa ng matagal it doesn't keep me from doing what I want.And it was just a great way to escape and put yourself in the shoes of each character.

This post is kind of a mess.Gusto ko pa sana ituloy ito pero sobrang sakit na ng mata ko.But maybe next time I will be posting something that's a bit more fun hindi nakakastress.If I don't get too lazy.