Taylor Swift's music means so much to me. When I'm feeling alone and about to break down when I was in college and after, it's her music that comforts me.
10 years after, when everything seems falling down, here she is, redeeming me again. I AM IN TEARS. #folklore
Thursday 23 July 2020
Sunday 12 July 2020
Most people I know think of me as a dreamy one. I am always staring into nothingness as I get lost into a world of fantasy that I only have visited. I can never be in one place completely because part of me will always be somewhere else, maybe flying with dragons, or having a coffee date with a fictional character. Either way there is always something unreachable inside my mind that no one has ever set a foot on.
I always keepthings inside of mewith the fear no one would ever understand what I have to say. I always struggle with words when spoken and even these written ones could never accurately describe the twists and turns of my labyrinth mind. I also find it hard to control my emotionswhich is the reason I'd rather show them when the lights are off. Letting someone see me cry is similar to giving them a glimpse of my bare body. These are the reasons why I prefer to offer silence or small talks to people just to keep the connection alive.
Every once in a while, I have tried and there are few people who have succesfully penetrated through my walls. They are the ones I truly trust in everything about me knowing that they would not end up pointing their fingers at me. But then there are people who are forcing their way through my walls, treating me as an experiment thats needs to be concluded. They are the ones who ask for explanations about my feelings and talk to me as if they know the best way to govern my life more than anyone else could.
They tell me I should open up. They tell me I should learn to trust them. But how can I do these things when just before I can utter a word, I am already greeted with ferocious eyes? They stab me with words just as when I have spoken a sentence. They chastise me whenever I cry saying it's a sign of weakness.
And just as when they see me wringing with pain and self loathing on the floor, they smile victoriously with a satisfied expression saying that I am just another mission accomplished.
They don't know how hard it is to build oneself up again right after a great fall. They don't know the struggle to find the words for things that you can't even understand. They don't know how much their remarks about my being affect my soul to the core.
I always keepthings inside of mewith the fear no one would ever understand what I have to say. I always struggle with words when spoken and even these written ones could never accurately describe the twists and turns of my labyrinth mind. I also find it hard to control my emotionswhich is the reason I'd rather show them when the lights are off. Letting someone see me cry is similar to giving them a glimpse of my bare body. These are the reasons why I prefer to offer silence or small talks to people just to keep the connection alive.
Every once in a while, I have tried and there are few people who have succesfully penetrated through my walls. They are the ones I truly trust in everything about me knowing that they would not end up pointing their fingers at me. But then there are people who are forcing their way through my walls, treating me as an experiment thats needs to be concluded. They are the ones who ask for explanations about my feelings and talk to me as if they know the best way to govern my life more than anyone else could.
They tell me I should open up. They tell me I should learn to trust them. But how can I do these things when just before I can utter a word, I am already greeted with ferocious eyes? They stab me with words just as when I have spoken a sentence. They chastise me whenever I cry saying it's a sign of weakness.
And just as when they see me wringing with pain and self loathing on the floor, they smile victoriously with a satisfied expression saying that I am just another mission accomplished.
They don't know how hard it is to build oneself up again right after a great fall. They don't know the struggle to find the words for things that you can't even understand. They don't know how much their remarks about my being affect my soul to the core.
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